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| What to do if you get fired! |
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| Being fired is no fun, even in a robust economy. Here are 10 tips for getting you back in the job market while keeping your psyche in tune. |
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- It's OK to Be Blue
Start by feeling as sorry for yourself as possible. Chances are, there will be a lot of people around telling you that it wasn't you and giving you a hundred reasons why you shouldn't feel bad about it. That's just baloney. It is you. It is rejection. It's terrible, awful and demeaning, and you have every right to feel sorry for yourself. Do it with enthusiasm! Put on pajamas with feet in them. Eat comfort foods. Look awful.
- Reach Out
Tell other people what you need. If you have a significant other, tell them that what you really want right now is big-time support, and later they can give you solutions. If you're single, it's time to tap into those friend reserves. For the moment, it's all about you.
- Treat Yourself
When you get tired of feeling bad (or within 72 hours, whichever comes first), do something that pleases you. Now is the time to decide to feel good. This is usually the point at which the desire to take a vacation sets in. If you can afford it, and you can do it without gnawing guilt, go for it. If you can't, do something a little outrageous. This might mean buying a pair of expensive shoes that you'll wear once in a blue moon. Under no circumstances should you purchase something utilitarian.
- Let Go
Sort through all the stuff you've collected from your old job and toss out as much of it as possible. The more you hold onto old files, the more you are likely to hold onto old resentments, slights and bad patterns of behavior.
- Reflect
Write down the three things you learned from being fired. Being fired is an extreme form of feedback. It means it wasn't working. It is extremely rare that someone gets fired who deeply believed she was a great match with the job. Here's a sample question to ask yourself:
Why wasn't your job a great match?
1. Was it the duties?
2. The culture?
3. The expectations?
Your job now is to figure it out.
- Know Your Talents
If you can't come up with anything but "It was their fault," it's time to get some coaching. Perhaps it might be a good idea to take a self-assessment quiz like the Myers-Briggs test or consult a professional career counselor. There are things you need to learn about yourself, and you need to be vigorous in finding them out. By no means are you to use this as an excuse to trash yourself — it won't help. Your true strength will come with the clarity you reach about your talents and limits. If you can, keep in touch with a few people you used to work with. When you're ready for it, they can give you useful feedback, but you'll have to listen carefully because sometimes they like you too much to give it to you straight.
- Start Looking for a Job
Put yourself to work searching for your next job. After you've felt sorry for yourself, it is time to generate income again. The job-hunt process will be your support system toward feeling better. Stay in touch with others who are looking too. Set up a strict routine, keeping in mind when you're "on" and when you're "off." Both of these will help: making an honest go of it daily, and then letting yourself off the hook. It's far too easy to fall into a 24-hour position in which you get down on yourself.
- Do Good, Feel Good
Do something nice for someone more miserable than you are. As scary as it is to be out of a job, it isn't as scary as the other bad stuff that happens to people. Volunteer work puts things into perspective.
- Be Choosy
Be as precise as you can about what you are looking for. You don't want just any old job.
- Get the Word Out
Tell the world. Tell everybody. The more people who know what you're looking for, the more people can help. Think of the world as your recruiting force — we all know people who found jobs because they sat next to a stranger, mentioned what they were looking for, and the stranger turned out to know someone offering the perfect job.
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